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A Formal Apology

So I thought I would start my first official blog post as something grandiose and fantastical. However awesome I imagine my life to be, it is also entirely average. So here comes an entirely average blog post.



A formal apology to anybody I've ever given directions to:

This morning, I was walking from one side of campus to the other. I had my hustle face on and my nonfat cap in my hand when a group of children wandered into my line of sight. They looked utterly lost. So lost that they looked at the building's directory. GASP! This is unheard of. Looking at the directory is like stripping down naked and running through the building screaming, "I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M GOING!" Ah, but I'm a nice person. I work on campus so I feel obligated to represent my dear college and help visitors find their way. I took a step away from the elevator that I was waiting for (the HUM elevator's lack of respect for my time the subject for another post) and asked them if they needed help finding something. They looked up at me and I felt like I was in a movie. The angels were singing, the clouds parted, I descended from the heavens as their savior. "Um, yes, we're trying to find," they looked down at a sheet of paper in their hands, "the study abroad office?" Yes. The power was in my hands now. I was the bearer of all the answers. I stood on mountain high with my superhero cape billowing in the wind... but then it came to giving the directions in words. Record scratch. "Oh yes, just go around the corner to the white building. Not the first left, the second one. It'll be a sign that says 'Why are you still here?' and the entrance will be close by." I came back to my body. Blank stares. Shit. My ego shrinks to the size of a peanut. You have to look like you know what you're doing. I employ a new tactic. Show them. I use my belly voice, "follow me, I'll show you where to go," I take a few steps out the door of the building and point them in the direction they need to go, "just walk towards that building and turn left after you pass the first line of offices, there'll be a courtyard and in that courtyard to the left will be the office." Success! They waddle away with less-confused yet still confused expressions on their faces. 


Even now I wonder if they ever made it to their destination. Probably not. Even so, I thought deeper, of all the people I'd ever given directions to. I feel bad for them. I am not good with directions. Maybe that's the lesson here, someone (like me) who is not good at giving directions should not give directions even if it comes from the most well-meaning of places.

Run away if they ask you, never to return. Throw down a smoke flash and disappear into the night. 


So in short. I wanted to apologize to those kids who I attempted to help this morning. I hope you got to where you wanted to go and I hope that I didn't confuse you too much.

That's all for now. Stay in touch folks

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