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My Thoughts on 'Heathers' (1988)

First of all. Winona Ryder is hot, I wish I could have looked that good in shoulder pads. Second. Wow. That was not what I expected... What I expected was a Clueless-esque Proto-Mean-Girls dramedy. What I got was an angsty peer-pressure ridden chaos high school where suicide is the punch line? Common Sense Media's Maria Lull claims that "The odd and often uncomfortable world of teen peer pressure is no stranger to any of us, and this dark comedy zooms unhesitatingly into this pressure cooker." I couldn't agree more. I want to say that it was terrible. But it wasn't. Veronica's blind acceptance of JD's deranged plans, pissed me off into oblivion. I understand the lesson: Teenage peer pressure can lead people to do terrible things. Extreme method of execution? Yes. I have to admit I was grinding my teeth for the second half of the movie when I finally realized that this was not the kind of movie I had expected to watch tonight. I can't help but say that it was successful at doing what it wanted to do. Although I can't exactly place my finger on what that is, other than make me afraid for my life next time I'm sitting on bleachers. But what I think is this movie's biggest drawback is that is a satirical commentary on the media's obsession with teen suicide, while also continuing that legacy. Think of 13 Reasons Why, Virgin Suicides, etc. I don't know. I didn't watch 13 Reasons Why first of all because I don't really care to watch a fictional girl kill herself. And secondly, what the fuck. Who makes these movies? Who decides that, yes, it's a great idea to plant into teens minds the idea of ending their lives? I can tell I'm getting angry, back to the review.

Honestly my favorite part of this movie was the beginning when the Heather's all addressed themselves as Heather. Pure comedy. I want a group of friends whose names are all Isabella. "Isabella?"

"Yes, Isabella."

"Shouldn't we tell Isabella about our plans"

Classic. I of course would want to be the red Isabella. The main bitch. But knowing me I'd end up at blue Isabella, whose croquet ball get flung behind the fountain. That Isabella is a real nasty bitch.

Okay, wait hold up. Is it just me or did that JD kid remind you an awful lot of the Joker? It might be because the Joker movie came out this past month, but even his body language and the way he talked and the way he was an AGENT OF CHAOS. Don't tell me my dearest Heath got inspiration from JD for his portrayal. It would make sense, the way that he just wanted to cause destruction and eventually used explosives. On another note, want to see my favorite picture of Heath? I'm going to show you anyways.

I don't know if I have much else to say. All I know is that I regret watching the Heathers alone at a time when I was tired and just looking to watch something like Under the Tuscan Sun. Fun fact: the author of that book went to my university!

Anyways, that's all I have to say about that. I hope that you enjoyed my little rambling.


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